so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!
here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:
disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.
sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.
so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY—
here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:
- it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.
so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.
EXCEPT, OF COURSE:
- you have to pay for pay per view.
so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”
- AS A FAMILY.
and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.
"i received the tv bill today," my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. "does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?"
as a reminder, a quick table survey:
- my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
- my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
- my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
- me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography
my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”
my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.
my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”
- WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?
"don’t expose my kid to that crap."
- MY KID
- TO THAT CRAP
"if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room."
- I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
- IN THE LIVING ROOM
but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?
- are you fucking kidding
- i did not want to go to porn prison
the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:
- my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
- my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
- my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences
but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?
- are you fucking kidding
- this is the best thing i’ve ever done
what an amazing story
This Muppet fan’s daughter is too young to go to Comic Con, so he held his own panel with Kermit and Fozzie for her.
Dear aromantics, asexuals, and greys:
- You are not immature or naive.
- You are not cold and heartless.
- Your love is not lesser.
- You are not broken.
- You do understand yourself.
- You are not a liar.
- Your feelings and experiences matter.
- You deserve to be acknowledged.
- You are real.
- Have a nice day today.
Elisabeth Sladen and Brian Miller (who were married from 1968 until Sladen’s death in 2011) both appeared in Classic Who and New Who: she as Sarah Jane Smith, he as Dugdale in Snakedance, a Dalek voice in Resurrection of the Daleks and Remembrance of the Daleks, and a tramp in Deep Breath.
Though their time on Who did not overlap, they appeared opposite each other in the Sarah Jane Adventures episode The Mad Woman in the Attic:
Hello there! Once i saw your brilliant pictures there were 2 thoughts: 1. your work is absolutelly FANTASTIC!! Your drawing style, colors, conversations - everything! 2. I'm such a looser! I can't draw comics properly (though I'm trying and i thought that i was doing great) and that I'll never be better than now.. oh well, life still goes on, we carry on, so you keep drawing these wonderfull comics! :) And one tiny request, can you draw something for this question/compliment? :D
Take Me To Church
35,071 plays | Hozier
summer’s kiss to an electric wire
inspired by Delta Rae’s "I Will Never Die"
It’s when his thoughts are darkest,
when they taste of icy air and the burnt metallic of a laser gun,
that he fears that he did it on purpose.
Capable of cursing her in that moment
There are shadows and whispers,
on the edges of the universe,
that someone is coming.
Someone who scatters
fear and love
in equal measures in her wake.
Protecting this universe,
devoid of its guardians,
from those who would try to wield time itself.
And as the glass tips,
liquid burning its way down,
She’s coming for him.
Rose is most likely the only one to truly appreciate his choice of song during karaoke night at their local pub…
Here, have a more silly Tentoo Adventure ;)
During a vist from greatspacedustbin, we ended up watching a DW crack video and giggled madly at this scene, after which the idea of Tentoo singing Gotye’s "Somebody that I used to know" during karaoke was born.
She suggested turning it into a Tentoo Adventure, so here you go ;D
Rose Tyler comission for alkastar. I had quite a lot of fun painting this and playing around with the colours!
Come Back When You Can | Download
1,149 plays | Barcelona
if all you wanted was me, i’d give you nothing less
so come back when you can
This post is all about kisses (not the chocolate or the principle sorry). Enjoy!
What is a kiss?
What does a kiss mean?
- What Does A Kiss Mean? 9 Kisses Decoded
- Decode His Smoochin’ Style
- 7 Kinds of Kisses and What They Mean
- How To Kiss: 4 Types Of Kisses Men Love
What are the types of kisses?
- Types of Kisses and What they Mean
- A Guide to the Different Types of Kisses
- Types of Kisses
- Types Of Kisses
- Types Of Kisses
What are some songs about kissing?
- 15 Songs About Kissing
- Top Ten Classic Rock and Pop Kissing Songs
- Kiss Title Songs
- Kissing Songs
- Songs about Kisses and Kissing
- 6 Old Songs About Kissing
Where can I find kissing GIFS?
Some of these might be NSFW, though.
What are some kissing games?What are some quotes about kissing?
How do I write a kiss?